And She Loves Him For It
by Tearra
Summary: Spoilers for Series 3. Abby seeks solace in a time of grief. Very short.


"Be careful," she whispers, as their eyes meet. She says it not because she wants him to run into the flaming building behind them but because she knows that there's absolutely no way to stop him and it's the only thing that she can think of to say.

There's a knowing look in his eyes, a hint of thanks at her not making a scene and then he's sprinted into the building, before Jenny or Lester or anyone can stop him.

She knows that all she had to say was "Stop" or "Don't go" and he would have stayed by her side, but she didn't. She knows how he feels about Cutter. She knows how he feels about the professor without him ever having to say it; from the idolizing looks that he's always giving the older man to the smile that flashes across his face whenever Cutter puts a hand on his shoulder, or encourages him. She knows without him ever having to verbalize it that Cutter is the first person to ever believe in him; that he's the closest thing to a father that he's ever had.

"Connor!" Jenny yells desperately, but to no success. He's gone. "Abby." Jenny turns her pleading voice on the blond girl, who closes her eyes as if in pain.

"Please come back." Abby's lips barely move as she prays for the first time in a long time-who believes in God when there's such a solid world of science coated around her.

She trains her eyes on the door that Connor ran into, praying that the last thing that she said to him in this mortal world will not be some encouragement as he runs off to do something stupid; again.

But when he does return, it feels like her heart is shattering into a million pieces. Charred, red eyed and heart broken, he walks back to them; with Cutter in his arms.

Abby's chest seems to be exploding with the emotions desperately trying to break free of her chest. Connor's okay. But Cutter...

They're at his side in a minute. She sees the look in Connor's eyes; the same soul shattering look that he carried around for days after Tom died, but she refuses to believe it.

"We need an ambulance!" Lester yells.

Lester, yelling to help Cutter. The ridiculousness of the situation almost makes her laugh, but then she sees Cutter laying there again, motionless on the ground, and she knows, but she doesn't want to know.

"He's gone."

The world tilts sideways, the edges have gone dark and blurry, she's grasping for consciousness and someone is saying: "No, it can't be." Is it her? Is it Jenny? What's going on? Cutter...he can't possibly...

The world is fuzzy and moving in slow motion. Lester is yelling; Jenny is making a face like she might be crying and Connor...

Connor. She lifts her eyes to him and he's standing there; clutching a strange artifact in his hands, staring off into space. There's no emotion; no reaction, nothing. She thinks that maybe he's going to cry, but he doesn't. He doesn't do anything, he doesn't move.

She wants to get up and hug him, but her legs aren't working and Cutter, Cutter's just laying there.

She feels lost.

To be honest, she doesn't exactly remember how she got into this mess of a situation anyway. Something about being a zookeeper...some fascination with dinosaurs; it's all a blurr, really. She doesn't remember each mission as much as she remembers each member of the team.

Stephen.

Just thinking his name sends a rush of emotion that she can't seem to understand; fiery and angry and confused and indifferent and sad.

Becker.

Becker with his watchful eyes and his constant mantra "My job is to protect you"; pretending to be a hardass, when he would always falter at Abby's pleading eyes, or Connor's emotional, protesting voice.

Jenny.

Jenny with her wide eyed innocence and her patient smiles and her kindness. Jenny with her low hooded eyes cast at Cutter, confused and patient, always so patient. Always fighting for them, for the team.

Cutter.

Newfound sadness swept through her as the realization that her mentor was dead hit her again. Cutter; laying under the anomaly diagram, staring at all of it's interconnecting pieces. Cutter, appearing behind Connor, pulling her up the cliff. Cutter. Always there.

Until now.

She's back at her flat, but she doesn't remember how she got there. Cutter's body...someone was yelling, blurry memories, and then here; home. She's on the couch, there's a a hat and a scarf on the floor; Connor is home too, somewhere.

Connor.

Connor. His names is like a breath of fresh air in her mind. Connor with his awkward laugh and his smiles and the way that he always wanted to make everything right for her all the time. The way that he never wanted to stress her; the way that he tried to take care of her, in his own strange little way.

"Connor?" she whispers into the emptiness of the flat.

He appears in a moment, disheveled, with that same vacant look on his face, the one that she can't stand, the one that makes her heart break a little more every time she sees.

"Connor," she whispers, tears springing to the edges of her eyes. She lifts her chin to him trying to keep strong, but not knowing how to.

He understands. He always understands her, even when she doesn't say anything at all. He comes to her, and her holds her. They hold each other and Abby cries.

Connor is there for her and she loves him for it.


End file.
